Do You Paper The Seat?

So, question of the day is: Do you paper public toilet seats before you sit on them???

I do. Every time. I'll tell you why.

First of all, I learned from my highschool health class that you can catch Trichomonas from a toilet seat. It's amazing what kind of information we retain. I probably remember this because we had to do group presentations on STDs. Ours was a hilarious video that involved a 'hot tub' made out of a giant cardboard box and Katie dressed up in a cape and pink clown wig. Good stuff.

Secondly, sitting on a wet toilet seat is no fun. Especially when it's not your toilet...or your mess. Ew.

Squatting is definitely a contender, but it has its own flaws. First off, it's hard. Did you ever wonder how toilet seats get wet in the first the place? We're perpetuating one of the problems here. Plus, the risk of urinating on your clothes is just too high. I mean really, is it worth having pee-pants in order to save a few squares of cheap toilet tissue and the time it takes to lay them down?! I think not. But even with all of that aside, squatting has no answer for my last (and, dare I say, most important) reason behind papering...

...It guarantees that I check that there is toilet paper in the stall before I go. None of this "Excuse me, stranger in the stall next to me, could you please pass me some toilet paper. I swear I'm not creepy" business. No drip drying. No frantically digging through your purse for a napkin. No sacrificing your favorite pair of underwear. And no weighing the pros and cons of waddling to the next stall with your pants around your knees, bare-assed, praying that no one walks in at that exact moment.

That image alone seals my fate as a diligent seat-paperer for all of time.