Wedding Wednesday – The Proposal(s)

You may not know this, but Kate & I got engaged twice. Actually, that's probably misleading. We never got un-engaged (disengaged?). Rather, there were two proposals. And we both said "yes!"

Will you marry me?

The first was on November 12th, 2009. I was heading to Virginia for my very first marathon. Kate drove me to the airport, even though I had to be there at the ridiculously early hour of 5:00am. I grabbed my bag out of the car, and when I turned around to say goodbye, she dropped down to one knee right there on the curb.

I was utterly stunned. We had talked about getting married for years, but neither of us was in a rush. We had already purchased a house together that summer, so it wasn't like we were going anywhere. I just had no idea that she had been planning anything!

Believe it or not, seeing her down on one knee like that made me swear. And I don't usually swear, so that's how I know I was shocked. I believe I said, "What the *bleep* is this?!" (classy, right?) Kate just grinned, opened the ring box, and said "Will you marry me?"

"Yes, of course, yes!!"

I think she was happy to have surprised me so.

But then came the hard part. We had to say goodbye! Unfortunately she wasn't able to get time off to come with me, which meant I boarded a plane to Richmond and she drove away to work. But at least I had something shiny and pretty to stare at!

Will you marry me?

The second proposal happened a little over a year later, on December 4th, 2010. The idea to propose to Kate occurred to me when we had been engaged for nearly a year, but still hadn't made any wedding plans. I knew how much I enjoyed wearing a ring during that time, so I figured if we were to be engaged for another year, Kate might enjoy wearing a ring as well!

I was right.

Kate had talked about replacing her claddagh ring that was lost in the Atlantic while we were on vacation. After a little searching and asking around, a local jewelry store was able to help me find exactly what I was looking for. I got Kate a band that has a claddagh engraved in it, along with 6 small diamond insets. I think it suits her perfectly, and I'm pretty sure she's quite fond of it.

I proposed in our kitchen. Mainly because that's where we were. I had these great intentions to secretly carry the ring around and wait for the "perfect moment", but really I was just so excited to give it to her. Plus, having that thing in my pocket made me crazy! I was constantly worrying about it. I ended up having it for all of 24 hours before kneeling down in front of the sink where Kate was doing dishes.

I was ridiculously nervous about it. I mean, she had already proposed to me and we had been engaged for over a year...what was I worried about?! But my heart was racing as I asked her to marry me. She said, "You got me a ring?! I really wanted one!!" And then she said "Yes, I'll marry you!" with a giant smile on her face.

Now what?!

This whole wedding process is kind of strange for us. There is obviously a lot of tradition involved in weddings, but some of that gets shaken up when you're talking about a gay couple. For example, who is "supposed" to propose to whom? Just being faced with these sort of questions makes me realize that we have something special. I mean, it is so easy to get wrapped up in what is "supposed" to be and forget about the meaning behind it.

To us, engagement rings are symbols of our commitment to one another. They are reminders of our love when we're not together, and they are tokens of the pride we have in our relationship and everything we've put into it. So why wouldn't we each have one? And why wouldn't we each ask the other to marry us?

In a way, being faced with the challenge of defining what each piece of our wedding means to us is hugely daunting. But really, it's a blessing in disguise because it forces us to take the time to think about what we want and what is important to us. I suppose I wouldn't have it any other way.

Any good proposal stories you'd like to share? I'd love to hear them!