Leading The Good Life
8Jun/119

Wedding Wednesday – Going to the Chapel?

Awhile back, I was happy to announce that we had booked our venue (woohoo!). However, the ceremony site is still up in the air. Like, way up. There are lots of things that we need to consider when choosing where we'll say "I do."

  • We are a gay couple living in Nebraska. Same-sex marriages are not legal or recognized in Nebraska. (Boo!)
  • Nebraska is right next door to Iowa, where same-sex marriages are legal - and you are not required to be a resident of the state to get married there. (Hooray!)
  • Omaha is as close as you can get to Iowa without being in the Missouri River. In fact, we live closer to Iowa than we do to my parents, who also live in Omaha. We're talking a 10 minute drive. (Hooray!)
  • Neither Katie nor I are religious. We do not want to get married in a church.
  • Getting married outside would be ideal, but I'm already concerned about the weather for next June. (Boo!)
  • Sometimes we want to invite everyone we know to our wedding (Thank you for loving and supporting us!), and sometimes we want it to be small and intimate (It might be kinda awkward reciting vows in front of everyone we know...)
  • We have a REALLY cool idea, but we're not sure if it's possible and/or legal. I'm having a hard time finding the right information. (Boo!)

We've talked about having a non-legal ceremony in Nebraska at the reception venue, and then doing the paper signing in Iowa. (Non-legal isn't the same thing as illegal, right?) However, I've already caught myself describing this as a "fake" ceremony. Not really how I want to be talking about our wedding.

We live so close to Iowa that it would be kinda silly NOT to get married there. And we'd love to do more than a courthouse wedding, as a way to show that we think Iowa is awesome for letting us get married there...meaning, a bigger celebration with more people.

Not that there is anything wrong with courthouse weddings. Trust me, it's still high on our list of possibilities.

A public place (like a park) seems to be a good option. However, I can't find solid information on what needs to be done. Sometimes you have to reserve a spot, but maybe that's only if you want to set up chairs. (??) Do you have to get some kind of permit?? If there is over a certain amount of people is it considered an assembly or a protest or a parade or something?? I just don't want to show up on our wedding day and then be told that we are breaking some kind of law. (Although, that'd be a pretty funny story in retrospect!) I suppose some phone calls need to be made.

Another concern about having the ceremony in a public place is...well, it'll be public. Meaning we couldn't control who is there. I don't want jerks or weirdos showing up and shouting things at us. Do you think that should be a big concern?

On top of this, we still need to figure out who will marry us...

Filed under: Wedding Leave a comment
Comments (9) Trackbacks (0)
  1. Theresa @ActiveEggplant.com
    June 8th, 2011 - 20:03

    I think my sister is going through this same thing for her June 2012 wedding! We all live in FL…but our family – and her GF’s family – are in PA. Same-sex weddings aren’t legal in either state! They’ve decided to say “screw it” as far as the legal-ness of their wedding goes & are going to get married in PA with friends & family there. I think they’re figuring that if it’s not legal in the state they live in anyway, just have it in a place that means something to each of them (home state) and if someday same-sex marriage becomes legal in FL or PA then go through the legal process. So for them it’s more of a commitment to each other thing than an actual wedding in the legal sense…but we’re all calling it a wedding – just because!
    Theresa @ActiveEggplant.com recently posted..100 MON –Technical Difficulty Edition

    ( REPLY )
    • Lizz
      June 9th, 2011 - 11:27

      That makes a lot of sense! In fact, when most people get married, the ceremony isn’t what legalizes it anyway. They still have to apply for a marriage liscense and sign it etc…it’s not like saying “I do” at the altar actually means they’re married. I should probably think of it this way so I don’t get too caught up in where we say our vows. No matter what, we’ll sign papers in Iowa, and the rest should just be whatever makes us happiest. :)

      I’m so glad to “know” someone else dealing the same issues! It really does help to bounce these ideas off of people that truly understand what we’re going through. Thanks!

      ( REPLY )
      • Tammy
        June 10th, 2011 - 09:32

        Lizz, I’m glad you brought up this issue; you guys are not alone in dealing with it. (My) Katie and I are trying not to let the non-legal aspect of our wedding taint any of our plans and I don’t think you guys should let it happen either. I sometimes find myself thinking that our ceremony will be “fake” but then I realize how ridiculous that sounds. It’s like you said above: saying “I do” doesn’t legally change anything, so why should your ceremony be different from any straight couple’s ceremony? What matters to us is that we are sharing a very special occasion with the people we love the most, not about a piece of paper. And as far as legality goes, we plan to have a lawyer bring our relationship as close to a legal marriage as possible.

        Your wedding ceremony should be a time to share your love for eachother with the people who mean the most to you in life (or everyone you know). You should do what ever makes you two the happiest, whether it’s small and intimate or a huge event.

        I also don’t think it would be a huge ordeal to have your ceremony in Iowa and your reception somewhere else. We will be having our ceremony on a beach and our reception at a club about 20 or 30 minutes apart. We’re planning that the guests can drive to the ceremony and then to the reception (or they can take a shuttle from their hotel to our reception and back if they don’t want to worry about driving after the reception).

        I think you would be fine to have your wedding in a public place. You might have to worry about being shouted at if you were getting gay-married at a NASCAR race or something comprable but that’s probably it. Most people probably wouldn’t notice it was a same-sex wedding and I doubt anyone would say anything if they did….they would be really outnumbered anyway so you should have nothing to worry about. :)

        ( REPLY )
    • Tammy
      June 10th, 2011 - 09:33

      We’re calling it a wedding because it IS a wedding, duh!!!!!!

      ( REPLY )
  2. mine
    June 8th, 2011 - 22:37

    i’d love to get one of those internet licences to marry you, but i love my rank as a maid of honor, so i don’t know if i’m willing to give that up :) you know my feelings about a “fake” ceremony, we’ll have one next year, and i’m already nervous about it. i know you can get married in a park, a friend of mine is doing it soon, and i can find out about the details. maybe a smaller park ceremony with closest ones (like our court marriage will be because the rooms are actually pretty small) and then the actual “party” at the barn.

    that being said, i’m already regretting having too many different events going on. at first it seems doable, but when time approaches the stress adds up. ask me after next week how i felt about having all these moving parts.

    in other news, i can’t believe i’m getting married next week!

    ( REPLY )
    • Lizz
      June 9th, 2011 - 11:31

      seriously, you’re getting married in just a few, short days!!!!! :)

      yeah, i’m worried that if we have a ceremony in iowa and then the reception in omaha, dealing with getting everyone from one location to the other will be stressful. a smaller ceremony would be good, in that sense.

      i think it’d be hilarious if you got an online licence!! maybe both you and laura can get one, and then you can tag-team the ceremony. ;)

      ( REPLY )

Leave a comment

(required)

CommentLuv badge

No trackbacks yet.

» «
Follow LdgTheGoodLife on Twitter

Welcome!

1

Hi! My name is Lizz and I am from Omaha, Nebraska. I love cooking, running, traveling, and learning new things. I have an amazing fiance, 2 adorable dogs, and an incredibly close-knit family. I am striving to make conscious choices in my life that reflect who I am and help me live life to the fullest.

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Contact Me

Have a question? Feel free to email me at lizz.dyer@gmail.com

Recent Posts

Foodbuzz

Categories